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bt50

BT50's Dad Joke Thread

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bt50    4,341

In celebration of my imminent qualification, heres a thread for your best (and worst) dad jokes.

Here's a couple to kick it off.

 

Why'd the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Tequila

 

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him excitably and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"

The grasshopper raises an eyebrow and says "what? Kevin?"

Edited by bt50
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n i k o    5,760
1 hour ago, bt50 said:

In celebration of my imminent qualification, heres a thread for your best (and worst) dad jokes.

Here's a couple to kick it off.

Why'd the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Tequila

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him excitably and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"

The grasshopper raises an eyebrow and says "what? Kevin?"

Some good ones to kick off this topic. Hopefully we 'kick off' as well as this on Saturday ;)

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jw1739    8,344
6 hours ago, Jimmy said:

I need this explained.

I need nearly all of them explained. I clearly have some communication problems and I sometimes wonder whether I've from a different universe and have somehow been nudged onto a different space-time continuum.

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bt50    4,341

A man walks into a seafood store with a trout under his arm.

He asks “do you make fish cakes?”

“Yes we do”, replied the fishmonger.

“Great”, said the man. “It’s his birthday”.

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n i k o    5,760

My grandad warned people the titanic would sink. No one listened, but he kept warning them until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the cinema. 

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bt50    4,341
11 minutes ago, n i k o said:

My grandad warned people the titanic would sink. No one listened, but he kept warning them until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the cinema. 

Thanks Gatty ;)

How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl? They're all girls, otherwise they'd be uncles.

Edited by bt50
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Harrison    287

A man was arrested and taken to an interrogation room...

He says to the police officer, "I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present."

"You are the lawyer," says the policeman.

"Exactly, so where's my present?"

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n i k o    5,760
2 hours ago, Harrison said:

A man was arrested and taken to an interrogation room...

He says to the police officer, "I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present."

"You are the lawyer," says the policeman.

"Exactly, so where's my present?"

Wow. Awesome. 

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