Obviously CFG own the club but we still have people in Melbourne so I don't know what they do all day. The phone wouldn't ring much for membership so surely they have time to think of marketing ideas and things to do
How about a simple "come along, meet the players, hear what we are doing to make you part of the club, enjoy the sausage sizzle and thank you for being a" member" of a dynamic, focussed, fan and community club".