bt50 Posted April 12, 2018 Report Share Posted April 12, 2018 (edited) In celebration of my imminent qualification, heres a thread for your best (and worst) dad jokes. Here's a couple to kick it off. Why'd the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Tequila A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him excitably and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper raises an eyebrow and says "what? Kevin?" Edited April 12, 2018 by bt50 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
n i k o Posted April 12, 2018 Report Share Posted April 12, 2018 1 hour ago, bt50 said: In celebration of my imminent qualification, heres a thread for your best (and worst) dad jokes. Here's a couple to kick it off. Why'd the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Tequila A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him excitably and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper raises an eyebrow and says "what? Kevin?" Some good ones to kick off this topic. Hopefully we 'kick off' as well as this on Saturday Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thisphantomfortress Posted April 12, 2018 Report Share Posted April 12, 2018 I don't tell dad jokes often. But when I do he laughs. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jovan Posted April 12, 2018 Report Share Posted April 12, 2018 What's green and looks like a bucket? A green bucket. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bt50 Posted April 12, 2018 Author Report Share Posted April 12, 2018 A man walked into a bar. He said Ouch Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
n i k o Posted April 13, 2018 Report Share Posted April 13, 2018 Not a fan of Parmesan cheese, it grates on my nerves Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeffplz Posted April 13, 2018 Report Share Posted April 13, 2018 A horse jumped. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bt50 Posted April 22, 2018 Author Report Share Posted April 22, 2018 What do you call a magician that cant fo any magic? Ian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmy Posted May 10, 2018 Report Share Posted May 10, 2018 On 13/04/2018 at 3:34 PM, jeffplz said: A horse jumped. I need this explained. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jw1739 Posted May 11, 2018 Report Share Posted May 11, 2018 6 hours ago, Jimmy said: I need this explained. I need nearly all of them explained. I clearly have some communication problems and I sometimes wonder whether I've from a different universe and have somehow been nudged onto a different space-time continuum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattyh001 Posted July 13, 2018 Report Share Posted July 13, 2018 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bt50 Posted July 22, 2018 Author Report Share Posted July 22, 2018 (edited) A man walks into a seafood store with a trout under his arm. He asks “do you make fish cakes?” “Yes we do”, replied the fishmonger. “Great”, said the man. “It’s his birthday”. Edited July 22, 2018 by bt50 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
n i k o Posted August 16, 2018 Report Share Posted August 16, 2018 My grandad warned people the titanic would sink. No one listened, but he kept warning them until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the cinema. 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bt50 Posted August 16, 2018 Author Report Share Posted August 16, 2018 (edited) 11 minutes ago, n i k o said: My grandad warned people the titanic would sink. No one listened, but he kept warning them until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the cinema. Thanks Gatty How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl? They're all girls, otherwise they'd be uncles. Edited August 16, 2018 by bt50 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harrison Posted August 17, 2018 Report Share Posted August 17, 2018 A man was arrested and taken to an interrogation room... He says to the police officer, "I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present." "You are the lawyer," says the policeman. "Exactly, so where's my present?" 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
n i k o Posted August 17, 2018 Report Share Posted August 17, 2018 2 hours ago, Harrison said: A man was arrested and taken to an interrogation room... He says to the police officer, "I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present." "You are the lawyer," says the policeman. "Exactly, so where's my present?" Wow. Awesome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bt50 Posted September 2, 2018 Author Report Share Posted September 2, 2018 A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says "ill have five beers thanks". 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattyh001 Posted September 8, 2018 Report Share Posted September 8, 2018 What did the nervous Agriculture speaker do before his presentation? Wet his plants Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bt50 Posted October 6, 2018 Author Report Share Posted October 6, 2018 3 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bt50 Posted October 9, 2018 Author Report Share Posted October 9, 2018 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
haz Posted October 9, 2018 Report Share Posted October 9, 2018 1 hour ago, bt50 said: I have no life Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KSK_47 Posted November 9, 2018 Report Share Posted November 9, 2018 Why do you never see hippopotamuses hiding in trees? Because they're really good at it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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