Jump to content
Melbourne Football

TTIM: Things That Irk Me


Tesla
 Share

Recommended Posts

TTIM: I'm laying on the beach right now, trying to relax, probably around 300m of empty sand to my right and 200m to my left. So where does this entire family who've just walked on to the beach want to set up? Right next to me of course. Hoo-fucking-ray. Fuck off, have some fucking courtesy.

While I'm on, when you have to take a shit at work, and out of about 8 empty cubicles the next asshole decides to cuddle up right next to yours. This one really baffles me. You wanna smell my shit pal? 

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

10 minutes ago, GreenSeater said:

Nothing worse. Same as blokes that choose the urinal next to you when there's plenty, or people who sit next to you on an empty train/bus. Just shit human beings.

Is it just me or is it always really old men who do this at the urinal? Happens to me all the time at games, have to resist the urge to tell them to fuck off.

Edited by OG-12
Banter
Link to comment
Share on other sites

TTIM: Parents who blame fast food outlets and such for their child being overweight.

You're the parent, you decide what your child eats and consumes "oh but the advertisement on T.V. is deceptive and i can't do anything to stop those evil companies from getting into my childs brain!" Well how about you take a little time out of your day to educate your child on what is healthy/ not healthy to eat?

 

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 12/2/2015, 2:12:11, strider said:

i will miss u tomorrow, det

what are your plans for your weekly no-forum day?

Years and years ago at school I was serving some Canadian Lady at Coles and she said to me "My four year old ate that Chocolate Bar, its your stores fault for putting them near the counter... if you need me to speak to The Manager then  I will".

I just said "Whatever" and left it at that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 7 December 2015 11:42:48 pm, kingofhearts said:

TTIM: Parents who blame fast food outlets and such for their child being overweight.

You're the parent, you decide what your child eats and consumes "oh but the advertisement on T.V. is deceptive and i can't do anything to stop those evil companies from getting into my childs brain!" Well how about you take a little time out of your day to educate your child on what is healthy/ not healthy to eat?

 

Well there are a lot of shit parents out there so for the most part its purely lazy types who are fat cunt themselves.

Another thing though which I reckon has increased fat kids/teens is a combo of not being able to smack your kid in the younger years and the "its ok to be fat, you're still beautiful" native being promoted in the teens/early adulthood. Both being pushed by the left of course. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 hours ago, HeartFc said:

Well there are a lot of shit parents out there so for the most part its purely lazy types who are fat cunt themselves.

Another thing though which I reckon has increased fat kids/teens is a combo of not being able to smack your kid in the younger years and the "its ok to be fat, you're still beautiful" native being promoted in the teens/early adulthood. Both being pushed by the left of course. 

Also too many kids playing Fifa Ultimate Team rather than getting of there arses and trying to take Cappers (Modras if you're younger), kick Daicos's and bowling Flippers on the street outside their house.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, cadete said:

Also too many kids playing Fifa Ultimate Team rather than getting of there arses and trying to take Cappers (Modras if you're younger), kick Daicos's and bowling Flippers on the street outside their house.

Unfortunately I think those days are gone tbh which is a shame. By the time I have children of school age esports will probably be as big as the biggest real sports (soccer, basketball, nfl, etc). 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, Tesla said:

Unfortunately I think those days are gone tbh which is a shame. By the time I have children of school age esports will probably be as big as the biggest real sports (soccer, basketball, nfl, etc). 

Yeah may be right, trends to indicate this which is really sad...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 12/7/2015 11:42:48, kingofhearts said:

TTIM: Parents who blame fast food outlets and such for their child being overweight.

You're the parent, you decide what your child eats and consumes "oh but the advertisement on T.V. is deceptive and i can't do anything to stop those evil companies from getting into my childs brain!" Well how about you take a little time out of your day to educate your child on what is healthy/ not healthy to eat?

 

You obviously haven't had any kids yet.

As a parent your fully aware of what is shit and what is not. But it's not easy keeping your keeps away from junk. Once they get a sniff or more accurately a taste of junk food it's extremely hard to ignore it.

I have a 6 year old boy and he's had half a glass of coke once a few months ago and doesn't shut up about it. Every time we are in the supermarket he's there putting his case about having some. "We just need bread and milk so shut the fuck up".

Playing outside with kids in the street rarely exists any more "generally". I used to from 4 or 5 spend endless hours fucking around the neighborhood with kids I hardly knew and it was never an issue. This was in West Heidelberg in the lates 70s. Now days there is zero chance you could let your children roam around due to the cases of child predators. Now I really don't know how many  cases there have been and whether it's a real risk but personally I'm not prepared to take the risk.

As a result now you have to pay for kids to play.

It starts as a toddler in Jimbaroo or mini maestros or whatever play groups are in your area. Then as they get older you move up to the play centers and begin organised sport. 

I know parents that spend every night of the week  going to organized activities for their kids. 

So basically if you can't afford to take your kids there aren't many places the kids can play with other kids. Next time your at the big shopping center have a look at the play areas.

So after school once you have fulfilled your child's need you then have to prepare a nutritious meal and get them to bed. After 5pm most kids under 8 or so are fucking tired and bordering on psychotic so this doesn't help. 

So an easy way out is to let  them sit around eating shit watching TV.

Now don't get me started about children and eating habits and allergies. 

TTIM being a responsible parent.

Edited by Jovan
  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

27 minutes ago, Jovan said:

You obviously haven't had any kids yet.

As a parent your fully aware of what is shit and what is not. But it's not easy keeping your keeps away from junk. Once they get a sniff or more accurately a taste of junk food it's extremely hard to ignore it.

I have a 6 year old boy and he's had half a glass of coke once a few months ago and doesn't shut up about it. Every time we are in the supermarket he's there putting his case about having some. "We just need bread and milk so shut the fuck up".

Playing outside with kids in the street rarely exists any more "generally". I used to from 4 or 5 spend endless hours fucking around the neighborhood with kids I hardly knew and it was never an issue. This was in West Heidelberg in the lates 70s. Now days there is zero chance you could let your children roam around due to the cases of child predators. Now I really don't know how many  cases there have been and whether it's a real risk but personally I'm not prepared to take the risk.

As a result now you have to pay for kids to play.

It starts as a toddler in Jimbaroo or mini maestros or whatever play groups are in your area. Then as they get older you move up to the play centers and begin organised sport. 

I know parents that spend every night of the week  going to organized activities for their kids. 

So basically if you can't afford to take your kids there aren't many places the kids can play with other kids. Next time your at the big shopping center have a look at the play areas.

So after school once you have fulfilled your child's need you then have to prepare a nutritious meal and get them to bed. After 5pm most kids under 8 or so are fucking tired and bordering on psychotic so this doesn't help. 

So an easy way out is to let  them sit around eating shit watching TV.

Now don't get me started about children and eating habits and allergies. 

TTIM being a responsible parent.

You have successfully convinced me children is not a good idea. You sir have saved me thousands if not millions 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Jovan said:

You obviously haven't had any kids yet.

As a parent your fully aware of what is shit and what is not. But it's not easy keeping your keeps away from junk. Once they get a sniff or more accurately a taste of junk food it's extremely hard to ignore it.

I have a 6 year old boy and he's had half a glass of coke once a few months ago and doesn't shut up about it. Every time we are in the supermarket he's there putting his case about having some. "We just need bread and milk so shut the fuck up".

Playing outside with kids in the street rarely exists any more "generally". I used to from 4 or 5 spend endless hours fucking around the neighborhood with kids I hardly knew and it was never an issue. This was in West Heidelberg in the lates 70s. Now days there is zero chance you could let your children roam around due to the cases of child predators. Now I really don't know how many  cases there have been and whether it's a real risk but personally I'm not prepared to take the risk.

As a result now you have to pay for kids to play.

It starts as a toddler in Jimbaroo or mini maestros or whatever play groups are in your area. Then as they get older you move up to the play centers and begin organised sport. 

I know parents that spend every night of the week  going to organized activities for their kids. 

So basically if you can't afford to take your kids there aren't many places the kids can play with other kids. Next time your at the big shopping center have a look at the play areas.

So after school once you have fulfilled your child's need you then have to prepare a nutritious meal and get them to bed. After 5pm most kids under 8 or so are fucking tired and bordering on psychotic so this doesn't help. 

So an easy way out is to let  them sit around eating shit watching TV.

Now don't get me started about children and eating habits and allergies. 

TTIM being a responsible parent.

You forgot to mention when they get invited to other children's birthday parties and are fed a steady diet of sugar with artificial flavourings followed by roasted coffee beans dipped in chocolate. Then getting the kids to settle ...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

31 minutes ago, NewConvert said:

You forgot to mention when they get invited to other children's birthday parties and are fed a steady diet of sugar with artificial flavourings followed by roasted coffee beans dipped in chocolate. Then getting the kids to settle ...

Birthday Parties, fuck me, I thought having a wedding was a colossal head fuck, now you have invite an entire class to a birthday party. You can't have it at home otherwise you'll  be cleaning up broken shit for weeks, not to mention having to entertain 20 other parents you really CBF talking to at the best of times, so the only alternative is an outside party. Spend an arm and leg to get for what is generally a chaotic noisy unpleasant situation.

If you complain and ignore all this you get branded some fucked up weirdo.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Jovan said:

You obviously haven't had any kids yet.

As a parent your fully aware of what is shit and what is not. But it's not easy keeping your keeps away from junk. Once they get a sniff or more accurately a taste of junk food it's extremely hard to ignore it.

I have a 6 year old boy and he's had half a glass of coke once a few months ago and doesn't shut up about it. Every time we are in the supermarket he's there putting his case about having some. "We just need bread and milk so shut the fuck up".

Playing outside with kids in the street rarely exists any more "generally". I used to from 4 or 5 spend endless hours fucking around the neighborhood with kids I hardly knew and it was never an issue. This was in West Heidelberg in the lates 70s. Now days there is zero chance you could let your children roam around due to the cases of child predators. Now I really don't know how many  cases there have been and whether it's a real risk but personally I'm not prepared to take the risk.

As a result now you have to pay for kids to play.

It starts as a toddler in Jimbaroo or mini maestros or whatever play groups are in your area. Then as they get older you move up to the play centers and begin organised sport. 

I know parents that spend every night of the week  going to organized activities for their kids. 

So basically if you can't afford to take your kids there aren't many places the kids can play with other kids. Next time your at the big shopping center have a look at the play areas.

So after school once you have fulfilled your child's need you then have to prepare a nutritious meal and get them to bed. After 5pm most kids under 8 or so are fucking tired and bordering on psychotic so this doesn't help. 

So an easy way out is to let  them sit around eating shit watching TV.

Now don't get me started about children and eating habits and allergies. 

TTIM being a responsible parent.

Ah, Jovan, have I got news for you. When those self-same kids that you lavished so much time, money and attention on to "protect" get to about 14 or so they will barely want to speak to you (if that's what you call a series of primeval grunts) and then only through the locked door of "their room" (which you have foolishly provided). By 16 this may blossom into disdain for everything that you've ever done or stood for - basically by then Dad is some sort of ancient fuckwit who never knew anything or did anything useful - and if you're really unlucky by 18 that lovely little kid who went to kindy is outright hostile to you (and even worse, his Mum). After that it's just a procession of dropkick girl- or boy-friends, alcohol, drugs, them getting up just as you're going to bed etc. etc...There's a brief reconciliation when they have their own dreadful kids when you find a new purpose in life as an unpaid baby-sitter, after-school picker-upper, etc. etc.. and your house becomes a dumping ground for all the stuff they have and don't want...There's a 5-10 halcyon period after that when you spend as hard as you can go on new cars for you and Mum, European river cruises, go to Macchu Picchu, across Russia on the trans-Siberian, drive across America and all that just to use up as much money as you can so that the bastards get as little as possible...and after that they'll put you in a home where you can sit in your chair with all the others who are half ga-ga, with the TV far too loud, wearing your incontinence pads, waiting...well, just waiting.

Ah, Jovan, have I got news for you...

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

12 hours ago, jw1739 said:

Ah, Jovan, have I got news for you. When those self-same kids that you lavished so much time, money and attention on to "protect" get to about 14 or so they will barely want to speak to you (if that's what you call a series of primeval grunts) and then only through the locked door of "their room" (which you have foolishly provided). By 16 this may blossom into disdain for everything that you've ever done or stood for - basically by then Dad is some sort of ancient fuckwit who never knew anything or did anything useful - and if you're really unlucky by 18 that lovely little kid who went to kindy is outright hostile to you (and even worse, his Mum). After that it's just a procession of dropkick girl- or boy-friends, alcohol, drugs, them getting up just as you're going to bed etc. etc...There's a brief reconciliation when they have their own dreadful kids when you find a new purpose in life as an unpaid baby-sitter, after-school picker-upper, etc. etc.. and your house becomes a dumping ground for all the stuff they have and don't want...There's a 5-10 halcyon period after that when you spend as hard as you can go on new cars for you and Mum, European river cruises, go to Macchu Picchu, across Russia on the trans-Siberian, drive across America and all that just to use up as much money as you can so that the bastards get as little as possible...and after that they'll put you in a home where you can sit in your chair with all the others who are half ga-ga, with the TV far too loud, wearing your incontinence pads, waiting...well, just waiting.

Ah, Jovan, have I got news for you...

Having a bad day brother?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 hours ago, Jestr said:

Don't forget the shit you do to make them happy like dressing up to surprise them at school during book week parade.

wife tells you go! Every one including parents dress up on the day....it will be fun!

you think why not so your march into the school ground all kitted out to find NOBODY but few kids dressed up.

school security approach you and ask your name as I'm wearing helmet, while kids yell to them " are you stupid?? he is dearth Vader!"

you bloody sweat under the mask cursing under you breath, but hey, day turns out great with photos and memories to last.

cant buy stuff like this so enjoy it, while it lasts.

 

image.jpeg

image.jpeg

Seriously this really is pretty fucken awesome...

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

22 minutes ago, hedaik said:

Loving being a parent of my 14 month old at the moment, at his super cute stage of babbling away without being able to talk properly yet. Just trying to make the most of this current stage before he starts going to school and turns into a little shit.

Spot on man! I found that the first 2-3 months are difficult, but you get by and just do what you need to do. Then they turn into these incredible little people who are amazing! I wish I could have just paused life right there.

Then just before they start school they stop being as cute and you start thinking there is just something wrong with them in the head because they start doing really stupid things (actually they just continue to do the stupid things they have always done, but because they have lost that cuteness it just starts becoming irritating) and then they start school and they know everything and you have to pretend to be interested in all the tedious shit they are learning about. And you have to talk to other parents and pretend to give a fuck about some guys kid and pretend the kid isnt a complete cunt. Loius CK is probably the person I most relate to as a parent

Seriously though, being a parent is difficult but when your kid turns 18 and you realize that despite all the usual late teen issues (sleeping until 1pm, spends too much time on his laptop, etc) they are actually a good person who can look after themselves its a pretty amazing feeling.

 

Edited by KSK_47
  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

FUCK YOU DAD YOU'RE A CUNT BUYING ME AN IPHONE 6 AND NOT A 6S I HOPE YOU DIE.

When I realised that's what kids are like these days I decided to adopt a "fuck my future kids" approach to life. Gonna enjoy myself while young and not save a cent, when I do have kids I will only spend money on essentials for them, will definitely make them get a job as soon as their 15 and charge them rent, etc 

This thread has only further assured me that I've got the right idea. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 minutes ago, Tesla said:

FUCK YOU DAD YOU'RE A CUNT BUYING ME AN IPHONE 6 AND NOT A 6S I HOPE YOU DIE.

When I realised that's what kids are like these days I decided to adopt a "fuck my future kids" approach to life. Gonna enjoy myself while young and not save a cent, when I do have kids I will only spend money on essentials for them, will definitely make them get a job as soon as their 15 and charge them rent, etc 

This thread has only further assured me that I've got the right idea. 

Maybe you can star on this show alongside someone else we know...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHB_zvrfOoc

Link to comment
Share on other sites

53 minutes ago, Luke said:

I gotta say i just don't see any hype about the sydney to hobart anywhere other cross promo garbage from channel 7. which is why i seldom watch FTA 

That's great but it does as JW specifically referenced receive too much coverage on the ABC (even down here) and I say this as someone who by chance gets to actually see the beginning of the race each year if I CBF just due to where my parents live.

And considering the ABC is a tax funded service rather than a channel providing completely Free Entertainment/News like the other FTA Channels I think criticism of its content is therefore IMO far more warranted.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Journos/commentators/FFA who keep on using the term "double-header" incorrectly. It means two matches played at the same venue one after other, not two matches played at different venues.

They're at it today - describing today's two A-League matches as the "Boxing Day Double-Header."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...