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Hellenic Hero    171

Will start this off with one:

Was getting the tram from Port Melbourne to St Kilda with my brother. Some bloke gets on and goes up to the back seat huffing paint and getting high by himself making a few people nervous. Next stop an old lady is trying to get on with her bag on wheels thing and struggling a bit. The guy gets off the back seat and asks if she's okay and helps her and her cart up on to the tram asking how her day is. Nan is on, her cart is on, old mate goes back to the seat at the back to continue huffing paint.

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Embee    2,191
7 minutes ago, thisphantomfortress said:

I don't live in Port any more 

Date wasn't specified

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Jovan    2,771
15 minutes ago, thisphantomfortress said:

I don't live in Port any more 

What about your Nanna? 

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GreenSeater    2,564

I once had a few too many beverages of the alcoholic nature at a bar in the city. In my drunken state I decoded to catch the train home by myself. I got on the train at Flinders Street at 11:30pm. Next thing I recall was waking up on the platform of Bayswater station at 3:45 am. I don't live on the Belgrave line. That was a very interesting night.

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Hellenic Hero    171
1 hour ago, GreenSeater said:

I once had a few too many beverages of the alcoholic nature at a bar in the city. In my drunken state I decoded to catch the train home by myself. I got on the train at Flinders Street at 11:30pm. Next thing I recall was waking up on the platform of Bayswater station at 3:45 am. I don't live on the Belgrave line. That was a very interesting night.

What happened next ?

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jeffplz    671
5 hours ago, Hellenic Hero said:

Will start this off with one:

Was getting the tram from Port Melbourne to St Kilda with my brother. Some bloke gets on and goes up to the back seat huffing paint and getting high by himself making a few people nervous. Next stop an old lady is trying to get on with her bag on wheels thing and struggling a bit. The guy gets off the back seat and asks if she's okay and helps her and her cart up on to the tram asking how her day is. Nan is on, her cart is on, old mate goes back to the seat at the back to continue huffing paint.

What happened next?

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Hellenic Hero    171
1 minute ago, jeffplz said:

What happened next?

He stayed up the back sniffing paint, and got off outside Lakeside Stadium. I continued on the tram with my brother, got off at Fitzroy St, and met my mum at the farmer's market. Not particularly interesting, I'm afraid.

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HeartFc    2,493

Franga crack whore dropping a dump between the carriages on one of the old trains about 15 years ago was certainly up there for me.

3 hours ago, Jimmy said:

He went home.

Go on...

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Hellenic Hero    171
On 01/06/2017 at 9:15 PM, HeartFc said:

Franga crack whore dropping a dump between the carriages on one of the old trains about 15 years ago was certainly up there for me.

Go on...

You'll have to get used to that sort of shit if you move to the GC...

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HeartFc    2,493

Got a little taste on the first night I was there but realised I was in a horrible suburb at the time. Speaking to a few locals, they say GC is sleepy town with a few high rise buildings during the off season and turns into bogan vegas during the peak. Stay indoors past 9pm was the advice I got and having just come off the worst hangover of my life, going out and drinking just isn't doable anymore. Bring on 6am walks on the beach with the elderly! 

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jeffplz    671

First PT related thread I saw-- what's the easiest way to get to Lakeside Stadium from the CBD? Say, Flinders St.

Edited by jeffplz

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Inferno    15

Here's a story:

i was coming home from work on the Caufield line to flinders street then South Melbourne. The flat next to me was being rented out by a nice young couple. At Richmond some bogan with his shirt off got on with a suitcase. He had a rats tail and all and head to the back. He got his e-cigarette and started puffing away someone told him to stop and did while swearing at him. I then got off and head across the road to the tram stop. This 'bogan, followed and got on the number one. I heard him say I'm going to the new flat. I got off and walked to my apartment complex which this guy followed. He got inthe same elevator which was quite awkward. I then went to my appartment and this guy says 'Howdy new neiborgh hope ya don't mind a bit of bong smoke!' I thought oh god. 

A week later I could smell a smoke scent coming from his room. I knocked on his door and the 'nice couple' that had rented the apartment to this guy all smoking weed together. 

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Pigs 2    233

I used to get on/off at st kilda station for a few years so I've got a fair few. 

One time a old guy took his false teeth out of his mouth and used them as a weapon to attack me. I covered up and he hit me in the hand drawing blood. Was pretty funny 

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The Aardvark    283

Caught the train in a mostly empty carriage to the city a few weeks ago. There was some guy in his mid 20's on the other side of the carriage, talking loudly on his phone. He was ringing up his "mates" and under whatever pretence he could come up with was telling them what he was doing that night, which was going into the city to meet up with his old mate.

The ridiculous thing was he kept telling them what his relationship was like with this mate, or rather how they used to challenge eachother to pickup girls. What followed was the most ridiculous retelling of how cool he was as loud as he could with frequent glances out of the corner of his eye to see if I or anyone else was listening. He made the same phone call twice so he could tell multiple friends so I wrote down some direct quotes:

"He's (his mate) a DJ but he is not working tonight so we are gonna go out for old times sake...we pretty much had a challenge to see who could pull the most girls in a year...yeah he pulled 103 in a year and I beat him with 232" (I may have audibly snorted at the last bit)

He went on to describe how it was a shame his mate had a girlfriend now and thus couldn't participate in another challenge, but towards the end of his conversation before he left the train he said the following: "Why do you think 7 of my mates are coming tonight, they're all gonna be pulling girls and I'm pretty much gonna be coaching them".  

For the record he looked like an absolute knob, that kind of guy that went to high school with you, always thought he was in the cool group, was super sleazy and was just generally disliked by everyone but somehow remained oblivious to that fact.

 

 

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Hellenic Hero    171

Once when I was on a tram, a deadshit houso/smackie got on with his shopping. He somehow trips over his feet and steps on his bag spilling the contents. He looks down '**** me ricotta' his huge tub of ricotta was all over the ground. 

So he does what any normal person would do, he starts scooping it up into his hands and eating it while muttering to himself.

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Jovan    2,771
6 hours ago, japiedog said:

on my way home from the salt mines one evening ( standing as per usual, I sit on my arse all day)

2 obviously pregnant women were standing, I asked a couple of guys to offer their seat to the ladies, one did , but the other said "she chose to get pregnant"

mmm not a happy old grumpy bastard, so I said " your Mum chose chose to be pregnant, but maybe she shouldn't have bothered"

guy was seething, he got up to give his seat to the lady, and gave me filthy looks on the way home

 

But I got stung one day

had to go to the big bad city to see a client, hopped on at Southern Cross for the trip home,  there were a few vacant seats so I plopped my fat arse on a seat opposite an absolutely stunning young lady. Long dark hair, Spanish looking, skin tight gym pants, I'm trying hard not to perve. She keep noticing me glancing, eventual she uncrosses her legs to reveal a huge  mound in the groin area,then crosses the legs again. I gulp hard for air and bury my nose in my book. thankfuly I'm getting off in a couple of stops

 

 

 

Thats sounds like a Tinto Brass movie plot line. 

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n i k o    4,676
6 hours ago, japiedog said:

2 had to go to the big bad city to see a client, hopped on at Southern Cross for the trip home,  there were a few vacant seats so I plopped my fat arse on a seat opposite an absolutely stunning young lady. Long dark hair, Spanish looking, skin tight gym pants, I'm trying hard not to perve. She keep noticing me glancing, eventual she uncrosses her legs to reveal a huge  mound in the groin area,then crosses the legs again. I gulp hard for air and bury my nose in my book. thankfuly I'm getting off in a couple of stops

 

 

 

Better to stop that story before it got ugly, I don't wanna find out what happened after you got off the train :up: 

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hakz7    1,357

On the way to a City game last season, a mum with two kids (girl and boy) got on at one of the stations. The boy was the most obnoxious, loud and rude kid I've seen and didn't shut up for 30 minutes. The mum kepts giving the "I'll tell your dad" threat at least 5 times which the kid obviously couldn't care less about cos he was a non-stop headache. To make things worse, the girl who was about 3-4 years old smelt like shit and the mum noticed as well. It spread throughout the carrage.. You couldn't get her cleaned properly from before?! They finally got off at North Melbourne (I think)

So after the game, going back home and what do you know?.. after 5 minutes of the train ride they get on the exact same carriage as me!! They had 2-3 hours to board a train again and yet they somehow got on the same train AND carriage as I was. Obviously the boy was no less louder than before and the girl still stank... Had to deal with another 30 minutes of that.

Absolute nightmare.

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AyeCee    645
26 minutes ago, hakz7 said:

On the way to a City game last season, a mum with two kids (girl and boy) got on at one of the stations. The boy was the most obnoxious, loud and rude kid I've seen and didn't shut up for 30 minutes. The mum kepts giving the "I'll tell your dad" threat at least 5 times which the kid obviously couldn't care less about cos he was a non-stop headache. To make things worse, the girl who was about 3-4 years old smelt like shit and the mum noticed as well. It spread throughout the carrage.. You couldn't get her cleaned properly from before?! They finally got off at North Melbourne (I think)

So after the game, going back home and what do you know?.. after 5 minutes of the train ride they get on the exact same carriage as me!! They had 2-3 hours to board a train again and yet they somehow got on the same train AND carriage as I was. Obviously the boy was no less louder than before and the girl still stank... Had to deal with another 30 minutes of that.

Absolute nightmare.

Change carriages. 

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jeffplz    671
29 minutes ago, hakz7 said:

On the way to a City game last season, a mum with two kids (girl and boy) got on at one of the stations. The boy was the most obnoxious, loud and rude kid I've seen and didn't shut up for 30 minutes. The mum kepts giving the "I'll tell your dad" threat at least 5 times which the kid obviously couldn't care less about cos he was a non-stop headache. To make things worse, the girl who was about 3-4 years old smelt like shit and the mum noticed as well. It spread throughout the carrage.. You couldn't get her cleaned properly from before?! They finally got off at North Melbourne (I think)

So after the game, going back home and what do you know?.. after 5 minutes of the train ride they get on the exact same carriage as me!! They had 2-3 hours to board a train again and yet they somehow got on the same train AND carriage as I was. Obviously the boy was no less louder than before and the girl still stank... Had to deal with another 30 minutes of that.

Absolute nightmare.

Just pull a "LAN EBENI SIKERIM OROSPU EVLADI"

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