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HeartinHobart

Travel.... Interstate and Overseas.

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Embee    3,000
12 hours ago, HeartFc said:

Highlight of the trip fellas. (I'm on the left)

donkey.jpg

dat ass

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haz    3,819
5 hours ago, HeartFc said:

Ye plenty of people wearing full jeans and jacket set ups in 30+ degree weather. I figure its to hide weapons.

Anyway todays adventure involved visiting a "town" where my Mrs grew up. It was basically a fucked up genuine 'knife fight over apple core" type ghetto. On the way there I spotted 2 dogs fucking in the middle in a busy highway. That was a first for me. When I got out the car  to visits their sugar cane farm some crack head tried to sell me a bundle of sticks. Didnt get it, still don't.

We had some more over cooked "asado" for lunch with her uncles/cousins and I got the grand tour of their cockroach invested overgrown garden. 

After that we Jumped on a motor bike to visit some shitty river 10km down some pot hole infested dusty road. Gears were fucked so almost flipped it 15 times. On the way there my Mrs cousin stopped and cut down a length of sugar cane, wasn't sure why until we got to section of the road where about 10 street dogs ran at us and he used the sugar cane to smack em around so I could zip past without my ankles getting bitten off. Good times. 

In other news, I got a horrible cough and about 20,000 mozzie bites coz apparently flyscreens haven't been invented here yet, I probably have AIDs.

Over and out. 

I hope your Mrs is the best export to come out of South America. Otherwise leave that continent

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kingofhearts    3,700
16 hours ago, HeartFc said:

Highlight of the trip fellas. (I'm on the left)

donkey.jpg

I was always wondering where my ex ended up at,  thanks for finding her man. 

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KSK_47    5,664
On 28/11/2017 at 0:25 PM, HeartFc said:

Ye plenty of people wearing full jeans and jacket set ups in 30+ degree weather. I figure its to hide weapons.

Anyway todays adventure involved visiting a "town" where my Mrs grew up. It was basically a fucked up genuine 'knife fight over apple core" type ghetto. On the way there I spotted 2 dogs fucking in the middle in a busy highway. That was a first for me. When I got out the car  to visits their sugar cane farm some crack head tried to sell me a bundle of sticks. Didnt get it, still don't.

We had some more over cooked "asado" for lunch with her uncles/cousins and I got the grand tour of their cockroach invested overgrown garden. 

After that we Jumped on a motor bike to visit some shitty river 10km down some pot hole infested dusty road. Gears were fucked so almost flipped it 15 times. On the way there my Mrs cousin stopped and cut down a length of sugar cane, wasn't sure why until we got to section of the road where about 10 street dogs ran at us and he used the sugar cane to smack em around so I could zip past without my ankles getting bitten off. Good times. 

In other news, I got a horrible cough and about 20,000 mozzie bites coz apparently flyscreens haven't been invented here yet, I probably have AIDs.

Over and out. 

You should write for lonely planet! 

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haz    3,819
55 minutes ago, HeartFc said:

Yeah I should start a travel blog but I'm too lazy and not a homosexual. I've been to the Philippines, Guam, Micronesia, Marshall Islands, Argentina, Uruguay and travelled 3,500 km in my van up to QLD all in the past 3 months. I really should've covered the island of Majuro on here while I was there. Literally a fucking strip of road/sand in the middle of the pacific ocean, full of poor, friendly, jesus freaks who chew some weird nut thing 24/7. Google betel nut, burns holes in peoples faces.

Back in Oz now after 2 delayed flights, lost and damaged luggage and Ganges river like diarrhoea. I'm fucking exhausted so I'm taking 10 days off to rest in Brisbane before driving back to Melbourne for Christmas. Then back to Brisbane and deciding wtf I wanna do for the rest of my life. 

Ill do my South American rap up tomorrow after I stop shitting. 

Betel Nut is GOAT. Islander kids used to bring it to school all the time in FNQ

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HeartFc    2,868

A local offered me some and I tried it. Tasted like shite but it was fun to spit it at street dogs.

They chew it with a lot of Tobacco there so it was strong as fuck and gave me a head spin. Everyone has brown teeth and on the verge of holes in their cheeks from the powered lime. Fucking horrible habit but they're in negative figures when it comes to fucks given on Majuro. Kids literally run down flooded streets naked in the rain at midnight and you gotta swerve around them or you risk reducing the future population by 10%. 

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haz    3,819
9 minutes ago, HeartFc said:

Once Australia becomes an islamic state and sharia kicks in, I'm heading straight back to rural Argentina with a fishing net.

 

image.jpeg.f61ff979deea591e878437a2b7651c19.jpeg

 

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haz    3,819

@HeartFc in comparison to Colazo's missus, how does this Farm Poontang compare, and how much do I need to pay to order one over here in a box?

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HeartFc    2,868
13 hours ago, haz said:

@HeartFc in comparison to Colazo's missus, how does this Farm Poontang compare, and how much do I need to pay to order one over here in a box?

Depends on what you like. Obviously Colazo's Mrs is a 167 out of 10 but I like my darker exotic types. My Mrs is probably an 8 but Id take her over a lot  of the BA blondes in a heart beat. In terms of import fees Id just head into the city and find South American backpackers. Plenty of hot Columbians/Brazilians/Argos floating around. Just ask em out on a date, spend $40 bucks on em and they'll be in love. Remember you're completing against what they're usually used to, slobs back home. 

 

Cheers mate @japiedog

Edited by HeartFc
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GreenSeater    3,143
14 hours ago, HeartFc said:

As promised my Argentinian rap (rape) up. 

Economy: What economy? 50% import tax and hyper inflation has well and truly made Argentina economically retarded. I'm talking down syndrome kid playing 4 square with the normal kids retarded. Just a mess. 80% of the country is poor as fuck despite the endless resources and youthful population (compared to Australia). Problem is all the lower class people are dumb as fuck. Saw plenty of Soviet flags and Che Guevara paintings in the working class and villa's (slums) and I had a few convos with people about why Argentina is such a shit hole... Instead of blaming their insanely corrupt government, America and England are blamed. Argos will never get over American superiorly and English successfully defending the falklands. (Plenty people have a soft spot for Nazi Germany too which was kinda weird). You can add their terrible service industry and shitty attitudes to the reasons why not many people want to spend their hard earned in that country. Maybe Marci can fix it a little but it would take 20 years of fiscal responsibility to turns things around. Which would never happen anyway.

Food: Breakfast will consist of Medialunas (Dry over priced croissants) and coffee (7 sugars). If you mention eggs they'll look at you like you just asked to smell their bumholes. Lunch is usually ham and cheese Sandwhiches (sandwichitos) on white bread with the crusts cut off. I asked a few people why no crusts and they told me that crusts were disgusting... which was kind of ironic coz they always had dirty hands. Pizza is also a popular staple (especially in Buenos Aries), unfortunately they make worse pizza then the Chinese. Thin crust (try hard italians) with 2 kilos of cheese, 4.5 cherry tomatoes and a green olive from a 5 year old jar. If you pushed down on the middle of a slice and left it there for 30 seconds a pool of oil would form on top, disgusting.  $20 AUD of tasteless diarrhea inducing misery. Better off sticking the sandwiches or skipping lunch all together coz half the places are closed because of  the long siestas they take... yes Argos take siestas.. all that laziness and arrogance really takes it out of em. Dinner , asado (arse hard door), 17 cuts of overcooked cow with mashed potatoes. Another popular dish is milanese washed down with a couple glasses of Fernet Branca. Once again pretending to be Italian. Desert would be 5 choices of dry cake or something drowned in Dulce Leche. Probably the only thing I fell in love with was Lomos (steak rolls with the lot.) 

Cites/Places to go: Well firstly cross off Buenos Aries. Concrete shit hole with nothing to do. Portenos (white people in Buenos Aries) are arrogant, horrible at providing services and they like roller blading... Yes roller blading (Hahgaaaaaay.gif) Add to that both shitty foot traffic and road traffic and you have a pretty busy and depressing city. Only good thing about BA were the girls but ill cover that later. Iguazu is another place I visited. Its a shit hole. Despite the huge potential (tourism) shop owners and people in general don't give a fuck. They leave rubbish all over the footpath in front of their shops, don't bother covering the food they prepare so you get a side of flies with every meal you order and if you don't speak spanish they can't be fucked even trying to sell you something. Only good thing was obviously the amazing fucking waterfall and jungle surrounding it. Thought I was one of the blue cunts in Avatar. Next place was Tucuman. Another shit hole, what a surprise. Full of pot holes, criminals and the only freshly painted thing I saw the whole trip was left wing propaganda. I actually didn't mind Tucuman in the end but that was probably due to the Mrs family and friends loving me. I basically all I had to do was say 3 words in spanish every 2 hours and laugh at their jokes that I couldn't even understand, I was Batman to them. Really nice people though who despite having fuck all, were very generous. Tafi Del Valle was a cool little town surround by mountains. There I discovered Llamas are my 3rd least favourite animal in the world, behind birds and spiders. Just gay looking animals who spit and run if you fart within 200 meters of them. One of them was 3 times the size of me, when I tried taking a photo of it, it screamed like a fucking psychotic demon and ran 3kms without looking back. In the words of Carl Pilkington "do we need em?"

Safely: (or lack of). Its dangerous, even in Buenos Aries. I got followed a lot coz I stupidly spoke English with the Mrs in some dodgy areas. Once I realised I was a dark street away from a mugging id have to quickly dart across the road and around a corner to lose the dirty Chorro who was on my tail. Tucuman is another level, I stayed in a ghetto neighbourhood at my Mrs mums house so I got to see some action. Almost got in a punch on day one with some fat cunt coz he threw a brick at my Mrs dogs. When my Mrs abused him and I pointed up the road in a piss off type gesture he jumped off his scooter and power walked at me like it was on. I didnt budge or break eye contact which induced a very quick U turn back to his bike. He was about 5.6 and 90 kilo but trashed talked more than Conor Mcgregor. A week later I drove past some incident another day where some bloke was missing half his ear surround by 2 families going at in over a horse cart full of watermelons or someshit. There was 1 cop on the scene lighting a smoke, looking utterly disinterested. No doubt waiting for a 500 peso "nothing to see here" payment before jumping on his bike to go talk to girls in the park. Thats what cops do there. Talk to teenage school girls. Speaking of girls... Here the one everyone has been waiting for...

Girls: Yes they're hot as fuck and they want western dicks in and around their mouths. Buenos Aries had heaps of smoking blondes and plenty of drop dead morenas with green eyes (my favourite). Most of em have 10/10 arses and big tits, heaps of fake tits too which I've grown to appreciate in my older years. Only issue is, they don't speak english and I can't really comment on how they reacted to me coz I didnt really talk to them. Being there with my Mrs I was always treading on thin ice. Still, definitely got a few fuck me looks but its kinda hard to make eye contact with women in Argentina in general. On the street they are very aware and used to being stared at and groped by ugly argo ape men. I wouldnt bother trying to pick em up cold on the street, they walk faster than I can run, despite every single one of them wearing 5 inch heels. (Sexy as fuck.) Girls in San Miguel de Tucuman and the surrounding towns (Famaillia, Monteros, Rio Seco, Conception etc.) were probably in some cases even hotter than BA girls. Maybe I'm a little bias coz my Mrs is a slum dog Morena but theres something about a grubby bare foot farm girl covered in dust, wearing ripped and stained clothes which gets all hot under the ball sack. There was one particular day where I visited 4 or 5 of these shitty little towns where I almost broke my neck. A couple of times it would hit me like holy fuck did I just see a fucking 77 of out 10 carrying a sack of potatoes. Prefect make-upless angeled faced 53 kilo, 21 year old bitches with perky tits and arses like freshly picked peaches, just casually walking down the street next to donkeys, looking miserable as fuck. Once Australia becomes an islamic state and sharia kicks in, I'm heading straight back to rural Argentina with a fishing net. I wish I could've got some photos for you boys but I risked getting my testicles slow cooked on coals along with the asado. 

In conclusion, don't cross off Argentina completely. Stay away from the cities and explore the beautiful nature (and girls) it has to offer. When I go back, which ill be forced too, i'm gonna backpack Patagonia and Mendoza. Ill have my Spanish improved too so that'll help me explore some places without the Mrs as my personal translator. Going as a single guy is the way to go, just so so many hot girls. I could feel my sperm count doubling every day I was there. It was mind blowing in the rural areas. 

Happy hunting. 

 

 

 

10/10 read. Please travel more often

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n i k o    5,864

Ok fellas hit me up with must visit places in the following locations...

Ill be in Croatia for 3 weeks but don't need any suggestions there, however Ill be in Munich for 4 days, Salzburg for 2 days, Hallstatt for a day prior to that. So any ideas on what I should definitely see would be appreciated....

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haz    3,819
4 hours ago, n i k o said:

Ok fellas hit me up with must visit places in the following locations...

Ill be in Croatia for 3 weeks but don't need any suggestions there, however Ill be in Munich for 4 days, Salzburg for 2 days, Hallstatt for a day prior to that. So any ideas on what I should definitely see would be appreciated....

In Munich if you havnt been, go to Neuschwanstein Castle and Eagle's Nest (if you want some running training you can trek up the mountain!)

In Croatia, if you are down in Dubrovnik, take a take trip to Kotor Bay in Montenegro

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n i k o    5,864
4 hours ago, haz said:

In Munich if you havnt been, go to Neuschwanstein Castle and Eagle's Nest (if you want some running training you can trek up the mountain!)

In Croatia, if you are down in Dubrovnik, take a take trip to Kotor Bay in Montenegro

Cheers. Yeh Cro I know well and will be with family and friends whilst there. But the other places I'm being a tourist so definitely looking for suggestions like that. I like that idea of trekking up the mountain. I'll check out the castle as well. If you think of anything else feel free to let me know, cheers!

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haz    3,819
44 minutes ago, n i k o said:

Cheers. Yeh Cro I know well and will be with family and friends whilst there. But the other places I'm being a tourist so definitely looking for suggestions like that. I like that idea of trekking up the mountain. I'll check out the castle as well. If you think of anything else feel free to let me know, cheers!

The Castle and Eagles Nest are the two main 'day attractions' near Munich, if you need any public transport info let me know!

In Munich there is also Dachau concentration camp, or you could take a train into Salzburg or Innsbruck.

As usual all this stuff is listed on Trip Advisor etc.

Edited by haz

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n i k o    5,864
35 minutes ago, haz said:

The Castle and Eagles Nest are the two main 'day attractions' near Munich, if you need any public transport info let me know!

In Munich there is also Dachau concentration camp, or you could take a train into Salzburg or Innsbruck.

As usual all this stuff is listed on Trip Advisor etc.

Ok thanks, I might have a question or two about the transport so I'll hit you up :up: 

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haz    3,819
59 minutes ago, n i k o said:

Ok thanks, I might have a question or two about the transport so I'll hit you up :up: 

Tip in  advanced: The 'Bayern Ticket' is your best friend if you want to travel outside/inside of Munich

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mattyh001    539

In Beijing tonight, about to watch Beijing Gouan vs Shanghai SUPG. Last time I was over (6ish years ago admittedly) Shanghai won 5-0 in Shanghai in a stadium where 10,000 supporters felt closer to 30,000.

So just as I was settling into a good evening, who the fuck else do I find refereeing than Jarrod fucking Gillett. Don't know if to laugh or cry ...

Edit; 40 min goal chalked off for offside via VAR. FFA making waves overseas

Edited by mattyh001
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