Tranerz21 Posted January 3, 2013 Report Share Posted January 3, 2013 Went to our office Christmas party last night. They played 'the twist' so I twisted, then they played 'jump' so I jumped, then they played 'come on Eileen'............I was asked to leave shortly after that. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tranerz21 Posted January 3, 2013 Report Share Posted January 3, 2013 A man was drinking at a bar when he turned to the barmaid and said "you remind me of my little toe" "is that because I'm small and cute" she said "No, its because I will probably bang you on the coffee table later tonight when I'm pissed." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tranerz21 Posted January 3, 2013 Report Share Posted January 3, 2013 My wife just caught me blow drying my penis and asked me what I was doing. Apparently 'heating your dinner' was the wrong answer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deviant Posted January 3, 2013 Report Share Posted January 3, 2013 Lmao!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bazzatron Posted February 4, 2013 Report Share Posted February 4, 2013 (edited) What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair. Edited February 4, 2013 by bazzatron 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bazzatron Posted February 4, 2013 Report Share Posted February 4, 2013 (edited) Why can't you fool an aborted baby? Because it wasn't born yesterday. Edited February 4, 2013 by bazzatron 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrAiDaN66 Posted February 4, 2013 Report Share Posted February 4, 2013 Why can't you fool an aborted baby? Because it wasn't born yesterday. oh thats gold! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrAiDaN66 Posted February 17, 2013 Report Share Posted February 17, 2013 (edited) Not dirty but.. What's the difference between Harry Potter and the Jews? Harry Potter escaped the chambers.. Edited February 17, 2013 by MrAiDaN66 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Braveheart Posted February 17, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 17, 2013 What's the difference between the Harry Potter and the Jews? Harry Potter escaped the chambers.. that barely makes sense and is nowhere near witty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrAiDaN66 Posted February 17, 2013 Report Share Posted February 17, 2013 What's the difference between the Harry Potter and the Jews? Harry Potter escaped the chambers.. that barely makes sense and is nowhere near witty. Was fixed while you replied.. But was funny when I read it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deviant Posted February 17, 2013 Report Share Posted February 17, 2013 Lol since we are on the topic of Jews... How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? Put them in the ashtray. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dont read this Posted March 7, 2013 Report Share Posted March 7, 2013 What's the difference between a priest and pimples ? Pimples wait till your a teenager to come on your face . 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deviant Posted March 8, 2013 Report Share Posted March 8, 2013 Catholic boy in confession says: "Forgive me father for i have sinned, I had a wank while thinking about my sister." Â "That's a disgrace", Said the priest. "Especially when you have two gorgeous brothers". 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dont read this Posted March 8, 2013 Report Share Posted March 8, 2013 you know your girlfriends too young when you have too make airplane sounds too get your cock into her mouth. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deviant Posted March 14, 2013 Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 (edited) ATT: Tesla  poltergeist and lamb cutlet.  Edited March 20, 2013 by Deviate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deviant Posted March 14, 2013 Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 How do you make a Gay guy fuck a chick? Â Shit in her cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gemma Posted March 14, 2013 Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 (edited) Â Â Â Â This is the worst thread. Â Not even funny. Srs. Edited March 14, 2013 by gemma Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Braveheart Posted March 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2013    This is the worst thread.  Not even funny. Srs. Did you not read the title?  people who expose themselves to things that they know they dislike and then complain about it   3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deviant Posted March 14, 2013 Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 Ok, humour has no boundaries! The only time people get offended is if/when they place boundaries on themselves. Race, religion and/or gender are merely 'topics'. I understand that taking the moral high ground is socially acceptable... I like being the exception to that rule every now and then... But anyway, back on topic... How do you get a priest to fuck a nun? Dress her up as an altar boy. :-D 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Young Polak Posted March 26, 2013 Report Share Posted March 26, 2013 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrAiDaN66 Posted March 26, 2013 Report Share Posted March 26, 2013 What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Young Polak Posted March 26, 2013 Report Share Posted March 26, 2013 (edited) People can be so easy to read. Like if their face is red, they're embarrassed. Or if their skin is black, they're about to commit a crime. Edited March 26, 2013 by Young Polak 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Young Polak Posted March 26, 2013 Report Share Posted March 26, 2013 What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole?A pedophile. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Young Polak Posted March 26, 2013 Report Share Posted March 26, 2013 How can you achieve the best Harlem Shake video? throw a flashbang in a hospital ward full of epileptic children Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrAiDaN66 Posted March 26, 2013 Report Share Posted March 26, 2013 How can you achieve the best Harlem Shake video? throw a flashbang in a hospital ward full of epileptic children I have epilepsy, I kinda thought "what a cunt" but then pissed myself :') 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deviant Posted March 26, 2013 Report Share Posted March 26, 2013 How can you achieve the best Harlem Shake video? throw a flashbang in a hospital ward full of epileptic children I have epilepsy, I kinda thought "what a cunt" but then pissed myself :') This is the attitude that I'm talking about! Without this attitude and outlook on life, you'll be a miserable cunt and no one would want to hang out with you. Comedy has no bounds! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tranerz21 Posted May 1, 2013 Report Share Posted May 1, 2013 A man shouts to his wife "Come here and look at my clock." She walks in to find him naked with a hard on. She says "that's not a clock",to which he replies "It will be when you put two hands and a face on it." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bazzatron Posted May 8, 2013 Report Share Posted May 8, 2013 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deviant Posted May 8, 2013 Report Share Posted May 8, 2013 Lmaooooooo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bazzatron Posted June 4, 2013 Report Share Posted June 4, 2013 What did the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deviant Posted June 4, 2013 Report Share Posted June 4, 2013 Lmao. Best jokes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deviant Posted June 14, 2013 Report Share Posted June 14, 2013 A Jewish daughter says to her mother, "I'm divorcing Nathan..." "All he wants is sex, sex and more sex. My vagina is now the size of a 50-cent piece When it used to be the size of a 5 cent piece." Her mother says, "You're married to a multi-millionaire businessman, You live in an 8 bedroom mansion You drive a $250,000 Ferrari, You get $2,000 a week allowance, You take 6 vacations a year and You want to throw all that away... Over 45 cents?" 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deviant Posted July 31, 2013 Report Share Posted July 31, 2013 not even a dirty joke... i just love this skit! Â http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eX5k82ws14I 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Young Polak Posted August 6, 2013 Report Share Posted August 6, 2013 (edited) Edited August 6, 2013 by Young Polak 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Young Polak Posted August 11, 2013 Report Share Posted August 11, 2013 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kingofhearts Posted August 12, 2013 Report Share Posted August 12, 2013 Q) What sets anal sex apart from regular sex? Â A) Regular sex can make your day but anal sex can make you hole weak Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mus-28 Posted September 11, 2013 Report Share Posted September 11, 2013 An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up... The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said, "Things are great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that Doc?"  The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story. "I have an older friend , much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season.  One day he was setting off to go hunting. In a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. As he neared a lake, he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge.  He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot the magnificent creature.  Out of habit he raised his cane , aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'.  "Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. Now, what do you think of that ?" asked the doctor.  The 86-year-old said , "Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."  The doctor replied , "My point exactly." 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deviant Posted September 11, 2013 Report Share Posted September 11, 2013 I'm surprised this thread has lasted 4 pages...   <3 you guys 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bt50 Posted September 18, 2013 Report Share Posted September 18, 2013 Love it! How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap until their parents come home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fentonthescreamingcactus Posted October 14, 2013 Report Share Posted October 14, 2013 What do you call a white punching bag? Archie's wife Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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